physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
