I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize