don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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