So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
