I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Randomize