i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
