The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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