after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
