I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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