I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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