He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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