The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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