it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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