Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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