I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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