The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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