In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize