It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
