i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
