ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just invented taco cereal.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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