my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize