You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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