Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
