White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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