real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
