Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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