Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
