just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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