dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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