I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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