Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
