First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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