Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dicks are not precious.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
