You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
