If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
