Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
foreskin is a definite game changer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
