hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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