Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize