Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
