I heard we made out
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize