We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're too hungover to prance.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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