the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
