All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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