is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
