evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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