youre lurking in front of me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize