apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
