garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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