what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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