i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
