How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
