How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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