I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
