You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I looked at my own cervix.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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