another moral hangover. fuck.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
