Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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