Me too!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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