Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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